


The Curse

by MadhouseCabaret



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2394182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadhouseCabaret/pseuds/MadhouseCabaret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years ago in the 19th century Ivan wrote a letter to his elder brother, Evgeny. In this he outlined his disdain and utter hatred towards being a Nation. This feeling of which he likens to a sickness and no more than a curse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Curse

Born into this life which was nothing more than a curse. Forced to spend every waking hour faced with the mortality of others, and the eternal struggle that was this existence. What man or woman could be stupid or crazy enough to wish for immortality? Those who sought it knew not of what they were asking! Of this Ivan was most certain. All of these feelings were detailed extensively by way of a letter he had written in the spring of 1872. 

 

  _Evgeny Mikhailovich Varushkin,_

_I write to you because I have not had restful sleep in what seems like an eternity. My waking moments are muddled with unpleasant thoughts, and my dreams plagued with horrific imagery. Am I sick? I must be, you know this because I am unable to connect clear thoughts. Everything runs circles in my head until I am no longer to bear its weight. I have suffered outbursts, but perhaps luckily not in the company of others. Perhaps it is thoughtless to burden you with these words, but I have no one else who will listen. I’m a wretch though for doing this! I’m a wretch for many other reasons as well. My burdening inner monologue is strife with self-doubt, self-pity and all manner of complexities. One would expect ideals of the most distraught nature to swirl about in my mind, of this I am certain. I just do not think I can handle the onset of negativity any longer!_

_We are what we are, are we not? Nations, builders, masons of our futures and yet far away observers all the same. For centuries you and I both have watched the world’s ebb and flow. Often times we find ourselves caught up in a circumstance much larger than ourselves, but we succeed and survive to see another day. These days however I am not thankful to see another sunrise! Isn’t that pitiful? I believe it is. I wake up cursing this very existence that God has placed upon us. No longer do I wish to see another sunrise, nor sunset, not even another war! I would sooner die before being forced to pick up a blade or gun once more! Too often are we forced to watch our people succumb to death, brutal and frightening. Too often are we resigned to watching those of whom which we care so deeply for fade away. They grow old while we stay young, and yet we must be there by their side and declining health. Like all the others before they too will pass on while we stay rooted to these lands. I cannot handle that amount of heartbreak any longer!  
 _

_I say this yes, but yet I cannot find it within myself to take my own life. Will I even truly die? I firmly believe I will return one way or another to continue along this cursed path. Evgeny, there is no hope for our kind! I’m sorry for drowning you in my despair, but I cannot find another way to express these thoughts. Of how I curse God and curse his plans! My never ending hatred towards humans for the gift they were given; mortality. Mortality is what I crave and what I will never have! Ah but yes, perhaps one day I can sincerely enjoy life and all it’s splendor. The seasons, the sun, the moon and all people who drift and walk around me. Until I am able to fight away this sickness in my mind I will never be truly happy._

_Ivan Vladimirovich Braginsky_


End file.
